


The high-heel on your chest

by multifandomgeek



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 06:22:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20484305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifandomgeek/pseuds/multifandomgeek
Summary: Vanessa loved the soulmate tattoos. She read books about them, watched movies about them, learned the science about them. It was all just so romantic and lovely and perfect.So she couldn’t really explain why when she first spotted her own tattoo reflected on someone else’s skin, it made her stomach plummet instead of her heart  soar.--A soulmate AU where everyone is born with a unique tattoo that matches their soulmate's





	The high-heel on your chest

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the incredible Meggie for the beta and the lovely words ❤️

Vanessa loved the soulmate tattoos. There were plenty of people who didn’t like them, who thought they were oppressive, or too anxiety-inducing, or just plain old-fashion, but she loved them, and everything about them. She read books about them, watched movies about them, learned the science about them. It was all just so romantic and lovely and perfect.

So she couldn’t really explain why when she first spotted her own tattoo reflected on someone else’s skin, it made her stomach plummet instead of her heart soar.

The moment wasn’t a moment at all. It happened after gym class, all the senior students hitting the musty, sweaty smelling locker room to shower and change before they went home for the day. Vanessa hated the locker room, the atmosphere of it so heavy and unpleasant, she barely even talked to her friends whenever she found herself there, always in a hurry to just get out of there.

It was a split second when her eyes skimmed over the girls absentmindedly as she walked out of the room, just at the right time to see Brooke Lynn adjusting her sports-bra over the small tattoo on the right side of her chest. It was so quick Vanessa just kept walking, only registering what she saw when she was already in the hallway, stopping dead in her tracks and widening her eyes. It would be comical if she hadn’t felt so completely lost.

\--

Brooke was fine with her soulmate tattoo. She liked that it was cute, a curvy flourish that to her almost looked like a high-heeled shoe, if a little abstract. She’d seen some ugly ones on the internet. People liked to make fun of it, maybe always had, and it just got worse with the internet. There was a whole debate about it, but regardless of opinions, everybody had seen some ugly ones, and Brooke was just happy hers wasn’t in that category.

She liked that it was kind of hidden too, barely the size of a quarter on the right side of her chest, right where the shoulder strap of her bras covered. She mostly wore sports-bras anyway, so it remained private. Brooke wasn’t a very public person, and if that kept her from meeting her soulmate on the streets that was fine for her. How embarrassed would that be? People on the internet liked to make fun of that too.

Most days she even forgot about it, her friends not being ones to swoon about the prospect of meeting the love of their lives at any corner on a regular basis. Some people were really obsessed about it, and Brooke couldn’t even imagine how boring a life that would be. She’d much rather talk about fashion, or dance, or, well, anything else, if she was honest.

But she would be lying if she said she didn’t think about it at all. Because she did, sometimes even caught herself doodling the symbol while daydreaming about the perfect girl during a particularly boring class, just to scratch over it as soon as she noticed. Or even bumped into someone because she was lost in thought, wondering about how old she’d be when it happened. Like right now.

“Oh, sorry, I’m sorry,” said Brooke, crouching down to pick up the book the girl she bumped into dropped. “Here.” She handled the girl her chemistry book, noticing she actually knew her or at least knew her name.

“Thanks,” said Vanessa, looking very nervous, maybe even scared?

“Are you okay?” Something seemed off with the girl and something in Brooke made her want to help her.

Vanessa’s breath hitched. “Yep, fine and dandy.” She put on a trembly smile. “Thanks,” she said again, walking away, leaving behind a puzzled Brooke.

\--

Vanessa was a mess. She was a big ball of anxiety and nothing she was used to do to unwind worked anymore. All her comfort movies were about soulmates; all her books, websites, even her friends were big-ass romantics who she just didn’t want to turn to with this particular piece of information. They would just be so damn happy for her and she was all but happy right now.

This wasn’t supposed to happen like this. She was supposed to meet her soulmate later, when she was already an adult. Nobody met them younger than 20. She remembered when there was a movie with kid soulmates and there was a whole controversy about it. She was just 17! What the fuck was this?

No, it was supposed to be when she was older, she had fantasized about it so many times. She would already have her shit together, would have gone to college and maybe travelled around a bit. It was going to be wonderful, a big moment full of joy and revelation, maybe a surprise in the middle of a cute street or a secret whisper with a lover she would already know for a while and would just need the confirmation to be sure.

She would be happy, bubbly, and everything would feel right. They would kiss and it would feel like fireworks and like the world suddenly had more colors. Then they would get married and have kids and everything would just be perfect. It always happened like this in her movies, always. It was always romantic even when it seemed like it wasn’t, even in that one story where they met when he ran over a puddle with his bike and drenched her in muddy water.

It wasn’t supposed to be a glance at a smelly locker room, with a girl she barely knew before she even graduated high school and still shared a room with her brother. Not while she was still in this town that was all that she ever knew and couldn’t wait to leave, while she still had so many dreams to make come true.

How could she dream now, knowing that the one person she was meant to be with was right here, at square one, before she even started? What if Brooke didn’t want to go to the same places Vanessa wanted to go to? What if she never wanted to leave at all? What then?

This was a complete nightmare, and Vanessa went so low as to start browsing websites dedicated to “fix” the tattoos itself. She read all about the people who didn’t want to conform into the soulmate box, who felt like they were dealt a bad hand or who simply lost their loved ones and wanted to start over. It was a sad pit, full of entitled assholes and mourning, desperate people. Vanessa wasn’t exactly mourning, which made her think that maybe she fit in the first category.

She had managed to avoid Brooke for the totality of two months now. It wasn’t that hard, they weren’t really friends before and didn’t have that many classes together, but ever since Vanessa started noticing her, it was like she was everywhere, and just seeing her around already stressed Vanessa out. Maybe it wasn’t that bad of an idea to try another strategy.

\--

“Hi,” said Nina, cornering Brooke in her locker with a gigantic grin that only meant one thing: she had some fresh new gossip. Or she found a puppy. The gossip thing was way more likely, though.

“Spill it,” said Brooke, matching her friend’s smile. “Did you find out about the librarian?” They were trying to figure out if the new library lady and their math teacher had a thing going on for weeks now.

“What? Oh, no, this is about you,” said Nina, poking her in the chest.

“Me? I didn’t do anything.” Jesus, did someone find her doodling in her notebook and post it online?

Nina talked before Brooke could spiral too much. “You know that Vanessa girl?” Oh thank god. Brooke nodded. “She’s been asking about you. I think she has a crush on you.”

Brooke scoffed. “Right.” She turned back to her locker, finishing sorting her books.

“I’m serious. It’s not just one person either; I got reliable sources.” Nina started following Brooke once she started walking to class. “One of them being myself because I actually heard her and A’keria talking about you.”

Brooke halted at that. “Wait, really?”

“Yes!” said Nina, exasperated and excited at the same time. “Why are you doubting me? People have crushes on you all the time.”

“Yeah, boys,” said Brooke, walking again. It was actually kind of annoying, most boys assuming her cool demeanour meant she was the kind of girl who didn’t care for romance or soulmates, i.e. was free for the taking.

“Yeah, well, it was about time there was a girl thrown in the mix. You know, from pure statistics, you’re running low,” said Nina. She kind of had a point. “So, what do you think of her?” she asked, her excited smile back on her face.

“Of Vanessa? I don’t know, she’s pretty,” Brooke shrugged. She was very, very pretty, actually. Brooke had noticed. She also noticed how the girl seemed to run from her like she had the plague, and that made her think that Nina had it all wrong and was just misunderstanding things.

Nina screeched. “So you like her! Can I play match-maker? Pretty please?”

“Absolutely not!” said Brooke, stopping again. “I’m serious Nina, do not!”

“Oh, come on, you’re no fun!” said Nina, looking like someone just stole her favorite toy. “I’ll be subtle, I promise.”

\--

Nina was not very subtle at all, but Brooke was so curious to know why Vanessa had been so keen in avoiding her that she didn’t even care. The last couple of days Brooke noticed it even more, Vanessa apparently not being shy at all to ask Brooke’s friends little questions about her in the middle of casual conversation, although quick to make herself sparse when the blonde so much as breathed near her, like she had a built-in Brooke radar or something.

Brooke was getting insecure, sue her. So when Nina told her to wait in the empty drama club room while she lured Vanessa in with her irresistible charms (which, to be fair, wasn’t even playing it up), Brooke caved. She just wanted to _know_.

You’d think she had a gun pointing at Vanessa from the way her eyes widened when she saw her in the room. The way she ran for the door, too late to make it after Nina closed it after herself and held the doorknob from the outside. It hurt, and made Brooke feel dirty somehow.

“I don’t bite, you know,” said Brooke, not having moved from the chair she was sitting at, watching Vanessa giving up on the door but not having turned around to face her yet. “Are you super homophobic or something? I just want to understand, I swear.”

“What? No! Why’d you say that?” exclaimed Vanessa, finally turning around, and Brooke was surprised by the power of her voice in the silent room.

“Do you blame me?”

Vanessa looked down. “Fuck.” She rubbed her face down and walked towards Brooke, dropping her bag heavily in a chair and herself in another. She hid her face in her hands and groaned. “How do I even start?”

“Nina thinks you have a crush on me,” said Brooke with a pained chuckle, looking away and fiddling with the hem of a costume that was draped near her. “But that’s nonsense, why would you run away from me if that was true? Right?”

Vanessa looked up. “Hm, actually that’s more on the right track.”

\--

Vanessa chose to show rather than tell, which had to be a first in her life, for sure. Her own tattoo was almost in the exact same place as Brooke’s, just a little bit lower. It made the whole thing just that more awkward since at first it looked like Vanessa was going to flash her boob at her, but soon Brooke saw it, and then it was _really_ awkward.

Brooke was speechless, shook to the core, and yet she was handling it much, much better than Vanessa had. Her breathing was becoming increasingly erratic and a million expressions crossed her face as she stared at Vanessa, her thoughts apparently running a million miles per hour.

“Breathe, boo,” said Vanessa, feeling for her, knowing how overwhelming it could be.

Brooke obliged. “When did you find out?”

“A few weeks ago,” said Vanessa, trying to make it sound just vague enough not to invite any more questions, even if she was kind of lying. “I saw it in the locker room and just realized it later in the day. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, it was just a lot.”

“And you’ve been running away from me since then,” said Brooke, frowning, trying to understand. “Oh,” she exclaimed, looking like realization hit her, then a strange, neutral expression. “You’re disappointed.”

Vanessa looked away, betraying herself. “I just- I had it all dreamed out and it wasn’t supposed to be like this. It’s too soon, I-”

“No, I get it,” said Brooke, getting up, grabbing her bag. “I’d be kind of disappointed if I was stuck with myself too,” she laughed, as if she was joking.

Vanessa’s heart dropped. “No, no, no, that’s not what I meant-”

“Nina, it’s me,” said Brooke knocking on the door, not paying attention to Vanessa anymore.

Nina opened the door with such an earnest expression that Vanessa wanted to cry.

“Everything is fine,” said Brooke, touching Nina’s arm as she walked out of the room. “Thanks. You need a ride home?”

She was leaving. Vanessa was still seating, frozen at the spot.

Nina mumbled something, her smile gone. She followed Brooke, leaving the door to close itself with a click. Vanessa was left to stare at it, completely alone.

\--

Brooke didn’t shed a tear for Vanessa that day, not a single one. If she watched sad movies and they made her cry, now that was a completely different story. She went to Nina’s at some point, and she let Brooke lie about being stressed out over an exam so they could eat ice cream, watch sitcoms, and play card games until they fell asleep.

She couldn’t decide between being angry or just sad. She googled “what to do if your soulmate hates you” and the results were full of wholesome stories that she just didn’t want to believe right now. Ignore it, she told herself. Ignore her. But it was as if there was an unscratchable itch to just see her, talk to her, fix it somehow. How was it possible that she missed Vanessa when she barely knew her?

“Stop scratching yourself! You’re making me itchy just from watching you.” Plastique called her out one day at lunch. Brooke was scratching her tattoo under the hem of her tank-top, had started to do it every time she thought about Vanessa, ever since their talk about a week ago.

“Sorry,” said Brooke, coming back to reality and her uneaten food. “I got a mosquito bite.”

“I got a cream for that,” said Plastique kindly.

“I was wrong.” Vanessa slapped the table between Brooke and Plastique, startling both of them. Brooke looked up at her but didn’t say anything. She looked like she was ready to fight someone and about to cry at the same time. “Let me start over.”

Plastique looked like she was going to say something and Nina leaned over the table from beside Brooke to cover her mouth, practically slapping her. She watched the stare-down between the two girls silently, but couldn’t resist nudging Brooke’s foot so she would just say something already.

“Okay,” said Brooke, simply because she felt like she had no choice.

Vanessa looked relieved, and let a tear fall. “Can, hm-” she apparently just now noticed Brooke wasn’t alone at her table. “Can we go somewhere after school then?” she asked shyly.

“Yeah, sure,” said Brooke, looking back down at her food, ignoring how much lighter she suddenly felt.

“Okay then,” said Vanessa, smiling and putting her own hair behind her ear. “See you then.” She gave Brooke an awkward wave that she didn’t respond, but Nina did, followed with an encouraging thumbs up before Vanessa finally went away.

Plastique screeched into Nina’s palm, prompting her to retrieve her hand. “That was the. cutest. thing! Why don’t you look happier? You have a date!” She shook Brooke by the arm, excited.

“I’m happy!” said Brooke, forcing a smile.

Nina hugged her by the side and kissed her hair, probably without a clue on what was happening either, just being the wonderful human being that she was.

\--

Vanessa chose a coffee shop and a quiet corner inside of it. It took a lot of effort for Brooke to really start talking to her and not only replying with monosyllabic words, but after realizing what an asshole she had been, Vanessa was ready and willing to put in as many hours as she needed to get on the blonde’s good side.

And so she did, starting slow, taking the few smiles from that first date as a victory and running with it. She went up to Brooke the following days at school to say hello and goodbye, pushing through the awkwardness of it, ignoring the weird looks from both Brooke’s and her own friends. At some point, it became routine, and they started to relax around each other enough to talk a bit more, then more, until it was just normal.

It wasn’t how it was supposed to be, it wasn’t how all the love stories were told, but Vanessa and Brooke became friends, and she was okay with it. They agreed to not talk about the soulmate thing with anyone else at Brooke’s request, but Vanessa agreed wholeheartedly. She was embarrassed with herself, plus she didn’t want any prying eyes on their very fragile amicable relationship.

It came to a point they almost forgot about it themselves, being reminded of it only when someone brought the subject up while they were side by side. Brooke was getting so good at steering conversations away from the topic that you couldn’t even tell she got fazed by it anymore.

They shared a secret, and that alone was enough to bond them together. Instead of talking about the future, they played point and shoot video games at Vanessa’s place, Brooke laughing at the creative slurs Vanessa yelled at the screen when she got angry. Instead of making plans, they watched red carpets and judged people’s fashion choices, getting in playful arguments about fabrics and shoes. Instead of being honest, they kept their feelings hidden away from each other, caring for their friendship as if it was a wild, fragile flower, even before it grew strong and resilient as time passed.

At first, Nina made a few girlfriend comments and Plastique a few sex jokes, but with time they stopped (mostly). In Vanessa’s corner, everybody always assumed she was straight anyway, so not much changed.

Everything was perfectly fine, there were no fights, no arguments, neither of them ever got sad or disappointed with each other. They were perfectly happy, except Vanessa was falling desperately in love with Brooke, and was so, so scared of ruining it again. If before she had been afraid of where she’d end up because of Brooke, now she couldn’t even fathom the idea of losing her, not having her by her side wherever she went.

Brooke was a solid stone in the rest of her life, a guarantee she would have forever, and bit by bit they were learning things about each other, knowing there was no rush whatsoever. Brooke was order where Vanessa was chaos, Vanessa was warmth where Brooke was coldness; they filled each other’s gaps, caught each other’s falls. It was peaceful and comforting, Vanessa had grown accustomed to it, had been spoiled by it. Brooke was hers, she was Brooke’s, it was printed on their skin.

Unless she fucked it up.

The way it had all started etched a doubt in Brooke’s heart that Vanessa thought she would never be able to heal. She could see it all the time, with every word that Brooke misunderstood and Vanessa had to explain to her again, every time Vanessa forgot something and Brooke thought it meant something instead of being just simple forgetfulness, and even when Vanessa was late and Brooke looked so sure that she wouldn’t come, regardless of the fact that Vanessa was always late and always showed up anyway.

So Vanessa decided she could deal with their friendship being just a friendship, because she didn’t want to risk anything with Brooke. She couldn’t, Brooke was too important. Every time she thought she would have the guts to tell her or just kiss her, she stepped back, just looked at her and convinced herself that just being with her was enough, in any way she could.

\--

Brooke didn’t think she would come to love Vanessa. She fought it, for her ego alone. She tried her hardest to hate the girl who thought she wasn’t enough for her, who was disappointed at the thought of having to spend the rest of her life with Brooke before she even bothered to know who she was. But it was impossible, just hopeless, Vanessa sneaked inside her heart with every smile, every wink, no matter how many times Brooke closed it to her.

The more time they spent together, the more Brooke was convinced that Vanessa was everything that she would ever need, even if she was more that Brooke asked for sometimes. But even with how much in love she felt, Brooke couldn’t brush away the feeling that she wasn’t enough for Vanessa, that she deserved better, because maybe she did.

Brooke was scared that Vanessa would look away someday and see somebody that was just better, tattoo or no tattoo. Somebody who she would have been happy to be destined to, not a person she was stuck with. And every day it seemed like that moment was closer, no matter what Vanessa was telling herself.

They avoided touching, it was one of their unspoken rules, like not talking about college and not watching romantic movies. Brooke was glad for that, only being near Vanessa already bad enough for her lovestruck senses. She was just so fucking pretty, smelled so fucking good. Sometimes Brooke zoned out just with the smell of her hair, thinking about holding her close just to be brought back to the reality where, no matter what fate had in store, Vanessa didn’t actually want her back.

_Nina: Please come to the drama room!_

Brooke frowned at the text. Nina was supposed to meet her at the library to go over their English notes, there was no reason for her to be at the drama club right now. Brooke went anyway, trusting Nina and also just because she was curious. When she approached the door, she heard muffled voices, her curiosity peaking as her ear touched the wooden surface.

“...half your size, but I’m gonna whoop your motherfucking ass,” she heard Vanessa’s voice, sounding angry and something else. Brooke snorted.

“Just one minute, what’s one minute?” said Nina, clearly trying to keep Vanessa’s anger at bay.

_Good luck with that_, Brooke thought. Was she keeping Vanessa hostage again?

“What if I was claut- clost- what if I had a panic attack for being closed up in this smelly fucking room, bitch?”

“You’re not claustrophobic though,” reasoned Nina.

“Nina, I will slap you.” She sounded serious, Brooke didn’t doubt she would.

“Guys, what’s going on?” asked Brooke, knocking on the door before Nina got a black eye.

“See? All is well,” said Nina, pulling Brooke inside immediately and with a little too much enthusiasm.

“Nina, what you playing at?” asked Vanessa, confused.

“Have you been crying?” asked Brooke. Vanessa’s eyes were puffy and her nose was red. Brooke couldn’t even focus on anything else, she just wanted to hold her.

“Please talk to her, V. Please,” said Nina, standing in the doorway. “I’m not even going to block the door, I’m just going to leave. Just talk, you guys. I love you both.” And with that, she closed the door and left.

“What’s wrong?” said Brooke, stepping forward to touch Vanessa’s arms, face, anywhere. “Why are you crying, baby?” The pet name slipped out, and Brooke fought the urge to slap her own mouth, to step away.

“I’m not crying,” said Vanessa, sniffing and wiping her eyes. “I’m not!” She turned away so Brooke wouldn’t see her face, as if that would be more convincing.

Brooke held her from the back, didn’t say anything. Vanessa’s hand gripped her arms, and Brooke pictured her closing her eyes to feel her close. Her hair was so close to her nose like this and she couldn’t help but nuzzle it. Without thinking, Brooke slipped the tip of her fingers inside the hem of Vanessa’s top and touched her soulmark.

Brooke gasped as the touch tingled through her just once then stopped, calming her all at once like a warm, heavy blanket. It was as if the entire world was out of focus and there was only Vanessa, her smell, her touch, her presence, but it was more than that, it was a bone-deep trust, a certainty that all was well as long as she was there. She was an endless source of hope. Brooke slid her hand away and immediately knew she would spend the rest of her life chasing that feeling.

\--

Brooke was holding her and Vanessa couldn’t keep it in anymore. She loved her, loved her so fucking much. Brooke’s hand was caressing her chest over her soulmark and all Vanessa could think about was how much she wished Brooke knew how much she cared for her, how wrong she had been at the beginning and how much she wished she could take it all back.

But that was precisely the reason why Vanessa didn’t want to dump it all on her. Brooke came first. Vanessa would always go at her pace. She cried today, her heart ached with longing but she was calmer now, she got it. It was worth it, it would forever be.

“You think there are soulmates out there who are only friends forever?” she said, breaking their truce, feeling Brooke hold her tighter. “Never lovers, just friends?”

“Is that what you want?” said Brooke.

“What do _you_ want?” asked Vanessa because this wasn’t about her.

“You’re my best friend. I love you. I need you,” said Brooke, taking a deep breath. “I need you so much, with me, just with me. If that’s what it takes for us to be together then it’s fine. I can live with that, I can be just your best friend, as long as I’m by your side,” Brooke let go of her tight hold on Vanessa in favor of sliding her hands down her arms, resting her forehead on the very top of Vanessa’s head.

“But no, that’s not what I want,” finished Brooke.

Vanessa turned around. Brooke was still hunched over, and Vanessa just tilted her own chin up and simply kissed her. There were no fireworks, no explosion of colors, no music in her ears. It was just a kiss, but it was the safest place in the entire world.

One of Brooke’s hands came up to touch her cheek while the other took Vanessa’s hand on her waist and guided it to her cleavage. For a minute there, Vanessa thought this was becoming sexual already, but Brooke just kissed her softly while placing her hand over her own soulmark.

Vanessa gasped as her whole body bubbled with joy, like Christmas morning and a surprise birthday party combined with a field of puppies and kittens on a sunny spring day. She giggled into the kiss as Brooke became her whole world, enveloping her entire being and overwhelming her senses. But it was deeper than that, it was an air-tight sense of safety that no matter what, Brooke would be there, that everything would be alright because they had each other.

Vanessa slid her hands up to hug Brooke’s neck as she peppered her face with kisses, but even as her fingers left the tattoo, it was like the feeling lingered, left a mark in her that she would never forget, that would always make her come back to it.

“Can we please be together for real now?” asked Vanessa. “Please.”

“Yes,” said Brooke, burying her face in Vanessa’s neck and hugging her so tight she lifted her up from the ground, making her yelp and giggle.

“I love you so fucking much,” said Vanessa, smiling with her eyes closed.

When they walked out, Vanessa understood what people meant when they said it was like the world had new colors. It wasn’t because of magic, or other-wordly chemistry, it was because her eyes weren’t clouded by shadows and insecurities born in her own mind anymore. She didn’t feel like floating away with feelings, she felt grounded, more alive and real than ever. Life was her oyster, and Brooke was her partner through whatever it threw at her. Forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think ❤️


End file.
